youre lurking in front of me
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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