suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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