Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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