He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
