do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
