Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Soap is not a condiment
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize