We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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