i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
