you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
