What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
