i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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