She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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