WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
