That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
this is an emotional support booty call
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
