put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
