garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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