Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
