she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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