i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
