First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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