You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
