i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
