Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
