and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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