My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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