my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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