I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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