you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
