Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
