I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
