WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
