Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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