I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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