Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
