you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
