Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Say something about gay babies.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
