The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
