oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
