do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
