margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I think I am morally bankrupt
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
