Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
