More tranny stories later!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize