yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize