Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
and i looked up. we had an audience...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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