Apparently you make a good broom.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
