I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
