We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
They took my balls.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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