awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
