oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Randomize
