real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
no, he came in my armpit
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
