I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
