I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
My ATM looks so different sober.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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