Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
