screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
