I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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