He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
