im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Randomize
