I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
