I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize