I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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