nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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