Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
