We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize
