what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
