my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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