Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
