There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
