I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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