you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize